Parenting is a series of moments, a pastiche of images, feelings. Just when you get a thumbprint, a sense of what's going on, it's gone and you are on to the next thing.
Eva's transition to preschool was definitely a moment for us. Eva's response against going was so strong. She would cry and cling to me like a spider monkey for an hour before school drop off and then again for several hours after. She is not a clingy kid so her response really made me question the decision, especially since she is only two and a half. To make matters worse, once she arrived in school, she would glom on to the teacher and cry. It was complete agony to watch her on the t.v. camera and not be able to comfort her. Since she is so verbal she also helped her case by saying, "I don't want to go to school" throughout the day and night leading up to the next day's drop off.
Eva's teacher, Mrs. Bedhi, was great in giving suggestions to help ease Eva into the routine and transition. First off, she allowed me to walk her in to school and pick her up, which helped tremendously. Also, Eva took her blanket and Blue Bear into class, which also helped. One day I even got to stay with her in school for circle time when she had a doctor's appointment. All of these subtle gestures helped show Eva the integration of her life at home with her new school and friends. Slowly but surely by the month end Eva has transitioned to preschool well and now even looks forward to the experience.
One day during a Stroller Strides workout a friend asked me how the transition was going for Eva. I relayed all of the grim details and emphasized how much we were doubting the decision wondering if we pushed too soon. My wise friend of two kids said, "You should try to enjoy this moment. It won't last long. Before you know it she'll be loving school and won't miss you at all." There is so much truth to this statement. When I was in the thick of the experience, I just felt Eva's pain and it literally made me heartsick. I had stomach aches, headaches, couldn't concentrate, the whole bit. Now that she's on the other side of the preschool threshold, I already miss her missing me (if that makes any sense). Don't get me wrong: I want her to be confidant and grow by experiencing things without me. But that moment where she lingered will never be there again. She is a preschooler. She has friends that I don't know and gets invited to birthday parties with parents that I've never met. I think we feel this transition so viscerally because it is a big deal, especially if we have stayed home with them from the beginning. We've navigated the world together for the first couple of years and I've had the privilege of always being by her side.
To this day, Eva still asks me every Tuesday and Thursday when I drop her off,"You're coming back to pick me up, right?" Every time she asks that question she tugs my heart a bit. I always reply enthusiastically, "Of course, Eva! I'll always come back." She smiles and then moves on to the next question or song.
